Adult Milestone: This waiter is trying to screw me!

Last night, I got to experience the adult experience of buying my parents a round of drinks. I had just gotten paid and wanted to purchase a round to show my appreciation and adultliness. So I did, and holy shit, was it ever an expensive show of adultliness but for three drinks, all doubles, it wasn't too bad (41.95).

I paid the bill and we left.

So here's the back story of our waiter: Carlos. I thought his service was decent, considering that he was dealing with a bunch of drunks (one of whom hasn't gotten hip to the "politically correct" jive), but there were some interesting blips on the radar.

-The woman paying the bill ordered a $59 bottle of wine. Good thing she checked it the label before they uncorked it: Carlos had brought a $259 bottle.
-My mother and I elected to split a twice baked potato (cost: $6.95), they brought us a plate of mashed potatoes (cost: $4.95), but charged us for the twice baked.
-I ordered a double rum and diet and was brought a "double double". (Keep this in mind, as it may factor into the story later.)

So I go online this morning, to check my account balances, and that fucker charged me twice! Once for 45 dollars (the drinks) and another time for ninety-six dollars. I couldn't believe it, personally. So I called the restaurant, and a lovely manager tried to explain to me how a checking account works.

So I explained to him that he'll cancel the transaction or hand me the cost of my drinks/extra charge in cash. (And there may have been some profanity involved.)

But really, I find this to be symptom of my age. No one, and I mean no one, seems to think my money is worth anything. Better yet, they treat me like my money is just for playing around with, and that someone (I assume the mythical Daddy-with-the-credit-cards) will bail me out. I go into stores and they won't offer to help me. But when I buy something, they try and sell me on a credit card that I don't need or want, and certainly can't afford.

Same way with hotels. Do you have any idea how troublesome it is for me to put something on a room tab? You can see the fear in the bartender's eyes: "uhoh, am I going to get in trouble for charging it to the room? Will her parents be mad?" Yea, they might be...but they're not here.

When will my money matter?

Photo credit: NateandTiff.com

It's the end of the month, as we know it.

...And I feel fine.

I really do: Things in reformed dumb-ass land are going well, monetarily speaking. Though the month of June will continue to hang over my head (in terms of my savings goals) for a little bit here, I'm sort of back on top. Here's the stats:

Checking: 249.55
Savings: 320.00
Pocket: 5.00 (plus a whole shit ton of change)

Seriously, though. Much much better than I was when I last checked in. (And I get paid tomorrow!) This sudden good fortune is a product of me calling in a lot of debt from friends. (Big debt, yo. What can I say, I'm too generous.) And I also had a cash scholarship/award come in.

Unfortunately, I also have some fixed expenses coming up in the month of July: $90 to the jewelry store (Repair on four chains), and approximately $200 to my boyfriend's parents (they paid my gas to aforementioned unpaid internship). But once I get back to work, I'll be able to settle my debts and move on with my financial life.

Let's check out the budget!
As you can see, some of the money has already been spent, but that's from my "roll over budgets" from last month. The rest is all open (including some leftover money from other roll over budgets). I do need to play around with my numbers so that my leftovers don't come up red.

But that's a game for tomorrow.

To Budget, or Not to Budget?

I am a reformed dumbass.

For my first three years of university, I threw all notions of a "budget" to the wind. I had a good job, I could pay my cell phone bill, buy groceries and prevent unwanted pregnancy -- completely unaided by loans, parental units or my boyfriend. I was living large on my own personal (collegiate) party barge.
And now I'm screwed.

To say that I lack funding would put me up for The Understatement of the Year award. Here's the current breakdown:

Checking: $21.01
Savings: $50.00
Purse: $11.56

Things are looking dire, friends! But I have seen the error of my ways and am working towards a new, financially healthy way of life. Luckily, I'm with my family for the next week or so (more on that later) which means I have a little time to eat/launder/smoke and drink for free. (This is especially helpful as I don't get paid for another two weeks.) I also have a little time to sort through my expenses and make a budget.

I didn't know a whole hell of a lot about creating a budget, but a buddy of mine turned me onto this site called mint.com. A nifty little planning tool, it offers these basic guidelines:

There are a few rules of thumb that you should keep in mind. Your housing expenses shouldn’t exceed about 33% of your income. And your total debt payment (which ideally should be zero!) probably shouldn’t exceed 30%. If you have more debt than that, it’s time to start cutting spending and looking for ways to cut fees on credit card accounts, savings accounts and other ways to save.

After signing up for this free and ostensibly very secure website, you can play around with your monthly budget: assigning different amounts to different categories of things. Because you sync your accounts/loans/credit cards to your mint.com account, it will automatically deduct from the correct budget amount. (If you find it to be incorrect, it's super easy to move it around to the right category.)

Here's my budget lay-out for June:

Try not to judge all that red. (I did just return from an unpaid internship in a very expensive foreign capitol.) But now you get the gist of what it looks like. At the top right corner, you can see the projected monthly savings on the current plan.

My pie in the sky goal for this year is to graduate with $3,500 to my name. It is my hope that $1,500 will come from cutting down on my monthly expenses. The rest of the money will come from various holidays and (hopefully) graduation checks. In a couple of weeks, I'll be generating an income again, so the numbers will hopefully be less dismal.

I'll keep you posted.

Dorm Egg Salad

When I'm not kicking (academic) ass, I work in a very large dorm cafeteria. If I didn't work there (and if I had a meal plan), I might even find the food options attractive. Alas! Those days have come and gone and I can easily work a 12 hours shift and find nothing even remotely appetizing.

But I gotta eat, so when a coworker/RA-with-Unlimited-Meal-Plan offered to "swipe me in" for dinner, I decided that eating for free sounded like a good idea. My options looked bleak, so I decided to get creative.
Into the crappy plastic salad bowl went:
-two hard boiled eggs (cut into 1/4'd wedges)
-1 tablespoon mayonnaise
-1 teaspoon mustard (or more to taste)
-Salt/Pepper/Sriracha to taste.

Then you smoosh it all up in your salad bowl and eat with some pita triangles. High-ho, deliciousness. And if you're at all concerned about nutritional information, here it is:

Nutrition Facts 1 Serving Amount Per Serving Calories 253.3 Total Fat 20.8 g Saturated Fat 4.8 g Polyunsaturated Fat 1.4 g Monounsaturated Fat 4.2 g Cholesterol 427.8 mg Sodium 310.0 mg Potassium 134.9 mg Total Carbohydrate 2.5 g Dietary Fiber 0.2 g Sugars 1.0 g Protein 12.9 g *Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

If you're concerned about fat and/or general caloric intake, you could easily sub in "salad dressing" (aka Miracle Whip) or opt for fat free mayo. Or, skip it all together and use more mustard with a little bit of lemon or vinegar for bite.

Even better than the nutritive options is the price point! For me, it was free, but if you were going to make this at home, it would be ridiculously cheap:

Two eggs: roughly 32 cents
Mayonnaise: can be as cheap as 9 cents
Mustard: approximately 3 cents used
Sriracha: 29 cents an ounce.

All in all, this meal would have cost me about 60 cents.

Not bad, I don't think.

Game Plan

When contemplating the beginning of the end of the beginning of my life, it becomes more and more clear that some intense goal setting is in order. These goals are more than just idealistic motivators -- they serve as a way to keep me accountable (at a time where "senioritis" is the norm).

As of right now, I have several long-term, thematic goals that I would like to accomplish this year:

-Complete a senior honors thesis in Political Science, so that I can graduate with honors.
-Establish and maintain a healthy lifestyle, complete with balanced diet and regular intentional exercise.
-Regain control of my finances/budgeting, in the hopes of graduating with at least $1,000 in my savings account.
-Maintain relationship with my significant other of more than three years, or know when the relationship should no longer be maintained.
-Find full-time employment for my post-graduate life.

So that's the heavy.
Later on, we'll get back to the funny.

[ETA]: Perhaps I should include "Quit Nicotine, Caffeine and Alcohol" as a goal...but what fun is that?