An ode to non-traditional collegiate athletes.

I am an athlete. (And I don't mean that in a "feel my roaring strength on the treadmill" way, either.) I am actually an athlete who routinely dons the school colours to represent my university at intercollegiate events on a national (and occasionally international) stage. I put on my game face and represent my university by playing my heart out.

But none of that really matters, because I don't play football. (Or basketball, or track or whatever else is more important/interesting than my sport.) I buy my own equipment and I pay my own way to meets. The costs are enormous, but I don't typically mind -- I get satisfaction from playing my sport well. So why don't you notice me?

Why doesn't the pep band ever show up to serenade me? Why do I only ever have three fans at a time? Why does no one on campus ever recognize me? Does the fact that I don't do my thing in a large stadium make me any less important?

I guess so.

So, over the next few weeks/months, I'm going to hunt down some less-than-well-known college athletes and sing their praises so that they know that, at the very least, I care.

Spiced Candied Nuts

Yesterday, in kitchen experimentation, I attempted to spice up my candied nuts. Candied nuts, in and of themselves, are pretty simple. You toast some nuts, melt (and try not to kill yourself) some sugar, toss to coat and salt if desired. They're simple and delicious. But I wanted to try something new, so I added some spices. Namely, Hungarian paprika and cinnamon.

Here's the recipe:
1 cup of toasted walnuts (to toast: lay flat on baking sheet and toss in 350 oven for five minutes)
1 cup of roasted, salted cashews
1+ cup of sugar
roughly 1/4 cup of paprika and cinnamon
After the sugar is melted, add the spice mixture (off the heat)...it will smoke like the dickens, but throw the nuts in and stir anyway. Then, lay it out on a baking sheet and attempt to separate the chunky bunches. (Good Luck).
What did I think?
Well, it might just be the humidity, but it never hardened up the way I wanted it to. It was still delicious. But it didn't give me the same candied crunch as the straight-sugar version. Also, it didn't have the spice level I was looking for. (This might be because I was using sweeter paprika.)

All in all? Pretty tasty, but in need of some tweaking.

Mea Culpa

Sorry for the absence, friends!

Getting settled back into a 40 hour work week/general routine has really tripped me out, time wise. But you can go ahead and expect great things soon!

Pulled Pork!

Tonight, I made pulled pork. And now you can too! You need:

• Leftover cooked pork products (I had approximately 3/4 rack of ribs and 3 pork steaks.)
• Beer (I used two cans).
  
• Worcestershire sauce and other seasons.

Put all of this in a large pot, turn to simmer and leave it alone for the next 3 or so hours.While it's cooking RESIST the urge to pull the meat off the bones and/or attempting to shred the meat to speed the process. If you just let it do its thing, the meat will fall off the bone on it's own. When that happens, you can use your trusty, scary-looking utensils to fish out the bones and gently tear the meat. (That's my scary looking utensil right there.)

If you did it right, the meat won't need much prompting. It will fall off the bones on its own and the fat will be all rendered and delicious.

When it's done, slather it in some sauce and enjoy!

July Ladymag: Marie Claire.

Here we go!

I love reading (and making fun of) ladymags. Most unfortunately, my real life doesn't typically afford me the time to really read what these people have to say. Not so during the summer, my friends! Here's what I learned from Marie Claire this month:

• Taylor Swift is the next best thang EVAR. She got a new tour bus (that she bought from Cher) and recently redecorated. She likes whimsical and girly frocks, which MC thinks look good with combat boots.
• WOMEN SHOULDN'T HAVE WOMEN FRIENDS! Because chick pals are too busy telling us what we want to hear...mmmkay?
• They trotted out the same old "how to look sexy for summer" trope. Here's a hint, chickadees...waterproof eyeliner! Beachy waves! blah blah blah et cetera.
• You can take control of your sex life! By giving your manfriend head!

Actually, I shouldn't be too hard on them...they actually managed to have some decently well-written and informative articles. But I was too busy giggling at the ridiculous to notice.

A busy busy day.

Today was jampacked insane. It started when I had to be up way too early in order to see my parents off (they're headed back to the homeland), and just continued from there. I got my work out in (How pathetic is this: I had to Google "How to execute bicycle crunches".) and then sat around drinking coffee and working on my French paper until it was time to go to the movies. (Read: Sat around crushing on AJ Daulerio)

A note on the French Paper: I have hit the halfway mark (ten pages) and am beginning to think that this is actually the easiest paper I've ever written. I say this, not because the length isn't daunting, but because I don't have to do anything except recount my experiences.

So today we (me and the little brother) saw Cyrus. It was certainly one epic fuck ton of a lot better than The Last Airbender which I was forced to see yesterday (Brosephat had to write a review for his class). The odd thing about Cyrus though, was that it was all over the place. It went from being hilariously slap-stick funny (and witty!) to being kind of poignant and indie. And the cinematography was pseudo-documentary-ish.

We left the theatre shouting "We are so fucking scene."

After returning to the domicile, I set about planning my day. First, I painted my toe-nails a suitably summery color.Let me be the first to say (without being endorsed by Maybelline in any way, shape or form), that express finish in 50 seconds isn't kidding around. It rocked and was dry in no time at all. (In real life, though, it's more teal than blue.)

After that, I set out (between loads of laundry) to do a little light shopping: things bought today include two new beads for my Pandora bracelet (That shit is expensive, yo) and some things from Gap. For myself, a new office-appropriate skirt, a pair of jeans, and this adorable navy and white striped boat-neck shirt. Plus, I picked up a cardigan from the men's department for weekend knock-arounds. For my brother, (why yes, I do do my brother's back to school shopping for him...do you have a problem with that?) I found some polo shirts on clearance and a new hoodie.

...we'll make a fashion plate out of him yet.

Later: pulled pork, packing and a lady mag take-down.

A love letter to AJ Daulerio.

I love sports.
And Deadspin.com.
I also love Jezebel, as you may probably have deduced.

I also love AJ Daulerio.
And today he's guest editing Jezebel.

AND IT'S SO AWESOME.

More sweet shit later, kids.

In honor of the holiday...

Here are three songs that have nothing to do with patriotism (but are good for the 4th of July anyway).


Credit: YouTube.com



Credit: YouTube.com


My personal favorite!

Credit: YouTube.com


And finally, one song that always brings tears:

Credit: YouTube.com

Happy Independence Day, my friends!

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" or: How to Pick a Fight and Win.

I am a fighter and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have a short fuse and a temper to be reckoned with. When I was younger, this temper would run unchecked and I would pick fights with a force of self-righteous anger that would thrill even the iciest of ice queens.

My friends, I was a bitch.
Like, a huge bitch.

When I came to college, I discovered that, no matter how articulate I was (or how loud I got), people had a hard time seeing my way -- especially the menfolk in a university setting. It seems, my friends, that women who yell, who argue, who get angry are insane members of the army against the patriarchy. We're cute in our efforts to fight for what we deem right. We're something to be patronized and condescended to.

In short, we're never going to win.

So when I came to college and discovered this unfortunate condition of life as a woman, I lost my fight for a little while. By learning to keep my mouth shut, I let things go. It was a simple life. I got called "sweetheart" a lot. My tits got a lot of compliments. My course of study was questioned a lot. But at least I wasn't wasting a lot of energy fighting, right? Riiiight.

In the past year, however, things have changed. I'm becoming a grown-up with my very own grown-up responsibilities and sometimes, I need to fight to get what I deserve. In order to avoid the pitfalls of being a feisty woman, I've developed a set of rules entitled "When to fight and how to do it" which I will share with you.

Keep on fighting, friends.

1. Choose your battles wisely.
This age-old adage from your mother/grandmother/whoever is wiser than we may have ever thought. For example...(and these are all actual examples from my actual, if anonymous, life) I don't go to Human Resources every time somebody calls me "sweetheart" "honey" or "baby". I don't go to my manager every time I feel slightly molested by a compliment or a passing touch. (Don't tell the harder core feminists I said that, they'll be all over me in two seconds flat.) There are a number of reasons for this:

1. I like some of the people calling me "hon". Actually, one manager admitted to me that, in our work place with more than 300 student employees, he calls all the females "hon" and all the males "buddy". Since this admission, I have thought twice before getting pissed. (This manager also knows my name now, so it's all good in the hood, so to speak.)
2. Sometimes, the battle isn't worth the effort. I have had employees (yes, I have employees) who have enjoyed trying to get under my skin. Think: comments along the lines of "Hey Sugartits!". In the past, I would have flown off the handle...told them to fuck off or gone to a supervisor. Now, I realize that sometimes, (feel free to call me a bad feminist) it's better to just keep my mouth shut. The ones who I truly hate, I ignore entirely. The lack of response generally solves the problem. As for the ones who use these lines out of social awkwardness and actual attraction (and they're usually much, much, younger than me) I usually flirt back...excessively. And I know, it's mean...it's kind of cruel. But actually, some of my best work friendships have started from attractions gone awry. End point: sometimes, it's better to lay low and see what happens. Before calling in reinforcements.
3. At the end of the day, think about your own reputation. It's on par with the little boy who cried wolf. Wait until it's bad enough to change the way you see you're environment. Petty squabbles do not warrant a full-on bitch slap. If you abuse your fighting powers, you might be regarded as "shrill", or worse yet, "whiny." Keep in mind: The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but only when that wheel has a penis.
   

2. Work from the bottom up.
We live in a "go to the top" world. We know who the bosses are and we want them to gallop in on their white horses to rescue us from the things that piss us off. Resist the urge to bring in the big guns. Try working from the bottom up. For example (again, actual example), I'm currently involved in a long-term dispute with AT&T. (Trust me, this was not a battle of my choosing.) Though it might be quicker (and more explosive) to demand to speak with a supervisor, I have learned to trust working with regular old call center personnel. They might not be able to help me in three minutes or less, but if you are patient, they might just come through for you. Which all factors into my next tip.
(Also, in terms of work place disputes, I've found that outright telling the perpetrator that they're offending me works remarkably well.)

3. Be polite.
I don't like to say this to people, especially women, but a little politeness goes a long, long way. When I'm on the phone with AT&T (read: all the fucking time), I've started using phrases like "I know you're not the person who caused this issue, but it needs to be resolved immediately" and "I don't want you to step beyond your jurisdiction, so please reroute me to the next level so that this issue can be resolved as soon as possible." Stress the immediacy of your situation without blaming the person on the phone/email box/directly in front of you.

4. Don't be afraid to get angry.
The are times when you just need to let loose and be the biggest bitch that you can be. I find it helpful to define my deal-breakers.

• My money.
• My sexuality.
• My private life. (This includes: my relationship, my intelligence, and my personal decisions.)

What are your deal breakers?

Good luck, friends!
Win your personal fights!

Happy Fourth of July!


However you celebrate, do so safely and responsibly!

Photo credit: Library of the University of Minnesota

Adult Milestone: This waiter is trying to screw me!

Last night, I got to experience the adult experience of buying my parents a round of drinks. I had just gotten paid and wanted to purchase a round to show my appreciation and adultliness. So I did, and holy shit, was it ever an expensive show of adultliness but for three drinks, all doubles, it wasn't too bad (41.95).

I paid the bill and we left.

So here's the back story of our waiter: Carlos. I thought his service was decent, considering that he was dealing with a bunch of drunks (one of whom hasn't gotten hip to the "politically correct" jive), but there were some interesting blips on the radar.

-The woman paying the bill ordered a $59 bottle of wine. Good thing she checked it the label before they uncorked it: Carlos had brought a $259 bottle.
-My mother and I elected to split a twice baked potato (cost: $6.95), they brought us a plate of mashed potatoes (cost: $4.95), but charged us for the twice baked.
-I ordered a double rum and diet and was brought a "double double". (Keep this in mind, as it may factor into the story later.)

So I go online this morning, to check my account balances, and that fucker charged me twice! Once for 45 dollars (the drinks) and another time for ninety-six dollars. I couldn't believe it, personally. So I called the restaurant, and a lovely manager tried to explain to me how a checking account works.

So I explained to him that he'll cancel the transaction or hand me the cost of my drinks/extra charge in cash. (And there may have been some profanity involved.)

But really, I find this to be symptom of my age. No one, and I mean no one, seems to think my money is worth anything. Better yet, they treat me like my money is just for playing around with, and that someone (I assume the mythical Daddy-with-the-credit-cards) will bail me out. I go into stores and they won't offer to help me. But when I buy something, they try and sell me on a credit card that I don't need or want, and certainly can't afford.

Same way with hotels. Do you have any idea how troublesome it is for me to put something on a room tab? You can see the fear in the bartender's eyes: "uhoh, am I going to get in trouble for charging it to the room? Will her parents be mad?" Yea, they might be...but they're not here.

When will my money matter?

Photo credit: NateandTiff.com

Finding Motivation.

I needed some convincing to feel motivated today. I walked approximately 6 miles yesterday - in less than supportive shoes - and my feet were tired, I had had a beer with lunch and wasn't sure that working out would sit well and I could always do it later. Now, I knew I wasn't going to do it later, because I fully intend to have cocktails with dinner tonight and the only people I know who work out with a buzz are certifiable.

So, taking a page from Angela over at OhSheGlows, I did some things to feel more motivated:

• First, I put on my workout clothes and unloaded the dishwasher/worked on my paper until I felt stupid sitting around in workout and not running.
• Then, I promised myself that I would only have to do 5 minutes of cardio if I really wanted to.
• Finally, I thought about how good it would feel to get to have a rum and diet tonight...without the guilt associated from skipping a work out.

While most of those tips are taken from this wonderful post by Angela, I do have some motivating factors of my own.

Number one: GUILT. That's right, I know, we're not supposed to use guilt as some sort of sick, self-loathing factor in getting off the couch...but I'm Catholic and guilt is what I know works.

Because I always feel self-conscious at the gym, I make sure that my gym clothes are flattering and make me feel well, good-looking. This ensures that I can focus on the work out and how I feel as opposed to how my gut looks.

Finally, I look for the entertainment value. The older women striving desperately for some unattainable goal, the meat heads trying to score and the people who show up wearing make-up. What can I say, I'm a people watcher.

Anecdote Time!
A woman at the gym today said to me: "It's a good thing you're starting on maintenance now, you'll never get that body back after you have a baby."

...uh, thanks?

Do you like The Daily Show? Good, me too.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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Happy Canada Day!

Credit: CTV.ca

It's the end of the month, as we know it.

...And I feel fine.

I really do: Things in reformed dumb-ass land are going well, monetarily speaking. Though the month of June will continue to hang over my head (in terms of my savings goals) for a little bit here, I'm sort of back on top. Here's the stats:

Checking: 249.55
Savings: 320.00
Pocket: 5.00 (plus a whole shit ton of change)

Seriously, though. Much much better than I was when I last checked in. (And I get paid tomorrow!) This sudden good fortune is a product of me calling in a lot of debt from friends. (Big debt, yo. What can I say, I'm too generous.) And I also had a cash scholarship/award come in.

Unfortunately, I also have some fixed expenses coming up in the month of July: $90 to the jewelry store (Repair on four chains), and approximately $200 to my boyfriend's parents (they paid my gas to aforementioned unpaid internship). But once I get back to work, I'll be able to settle my debts and move on with my financial life.

Let's check out the budget!
As you can see, some of the money has already been spent, but that's from my "roll over budgets" from last month. The rest is all open (including some leftover money from other roll over budgets). I do need to play around with my numbers so that my leftovers don't come up red.

But that's a game for tomorrow.