I want to go to here.

Gizmodo via Buzz Feed

Television Confessional: 5 reasons why I'm not ashamed to like Hot In Cleveland

1. My mother's family is from Cleveland, so any show that pokes fun at the city's expense is alright by me.
2. Hot in Cleveland has a cast made up of people who look like actual people...while the promo poster airbrushed the four lovely ladies to high heaven, the show itself shows a bunch of middle-aged/octogenarian broads living large on their own personal Cleveland party barge.
3. The old school sitcom format (Every episode opens with "Hot in Cleveland is filmed in front of a live studio audience) hearkens back to a day when TV was simpler, and more relaxing.
4. Unlike my other guilty pleasure, Grey's Anatomy, Hot in Cleveland doesn't make me feel like an inadequate underachiever.
5. Betty. Fucking. White.
   

Video Credit: YouTube

Mango-Blueberry Compote

As you may recall, I was recently gifted a large quantity of delicious fruits and today, I decided to do something with it. Using this recipe adapted from Food and Wine, I made a deliciously fruitful and delightful dish.The key players are:
-Mediumish sized mango.
-1 pint blueberries.
-1 lemon.Hack up the mango into 1/2 (or so sized chunks) and then combine in a pot with:
-blueberries
-4 scant tablespoons of sugar
-the juice and zest of 1/2 lemon
-1/2 cup water

Let sit on medium heat until it boils and then cook for another 15 minutes.
I enjoyed mine in a mug with a healthy dollop of cream cheese. (Kind of like a deconstructed, warm cheese cake.) It was tasty, and I liked the extra bite of citrus. However, I think I overdid it on the water and/or didn't let it cook long enough -- it was a little too soupy for my tastes. (I was hoping for a thicker mixture.)

Overall though?
Delicious! And I can't wait to try it with waffles or something.

Game on.

I have fallen behind, friendly faces. Truth be told, I've been having entirely too much fun hanging out with my family and not working-for-pay that I've gotten next to nothing done on all the things I said I'd do.

Which is really very dumb on my part.

Because the more I get done this next week, the less I'll need to do once I return to my real life. So here's what I need to have done by next Tuesday, July 6, at 1 pm (EST).

• Have 10 pages written of French paper.
• Have new (Keanu-approvable) research proposal written.
• Finish Charles Lipson's How to Write a BA Thesis.
• Review old reading list and add new sources (at least 10, I hope).
• Work out for at least 8 hours.

And there you have it.
So let's get it done.

"Jezebel thinks [Jon Stewart] is a sexist prick!"

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Blame
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Credit: The Daily Show

If you read Jezebel as religiously as I do, you're well aware that there have been some issues 'a brewin' between the Jezebelles and Jon Stewart. It all started in earnest on June 23rd, when "The Daily Show's Woman Problem" was posted and its escalated from there.

The posts on The Daily Show generate an epic ton of comments and page views, with people weighing in from all sides: are women just not funny? does the "female" sense of humor not "fit" The Daily Show's style? is this just a sign of the comedic times? Whatever the reason for the lack of female writers/correspondents, I don't think it makes Jon Stewart a "sexist prick".

If anything, the fact that it was acknowledged - however quickly, however angrily - on the show indicates that someone out there is listening. And whatever happens, I'll still be tuning in nightly (Monday-Thursday) because Jon Stewart makes me laugh.

So you're entering into a long distance relationship...Now let me harass you about it.

As I'm sure I stated before, this coming year will mark something very new for my love life: a long distance relationship. And, as is typical in the university setting, everyone has something to say about it. Which is funny...because it shouldn't be any of their business. Or even a matter of concern, really.

My manfriend is moving down south to pursue higher higher education and I'm staying in the upper midwest to finish out my bachelor's degree. Best case scenario, we'll be separated for about 9 months and I'll find a job in his neck of the woods. Wost case scenario, we'll be separated for 3 years, if I can't find a job down there. (Actually, no, worst case scenario: he'll dump me for a Brazilian supermodel. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

But if you're also going through this situation, you can brace yourself for some of the following pseudo-concerned inquiries:

What are you going to do when s/he's gone?
Well, the same things I've always done: get up, go to class, do my homework and work my dead-end job. Then, I'll probably make my lunch for the next day, go to sleep and get up to do it all over again. I'll still obsess over my weight and grades, but I'll more than likely be eating less take-out.

Are you going to miss him?
Sure. I might just miss the free ride to Meijer more.

Won't you be lonely?
Well, I do, in fact, have friends. It might be hard to believe, I know. But I have friends, and I will survive. I will still drink excessively. I will still dance around my apartment to shitty club music. And I will still have an extensive porch party schedule. Life will go on.

What if he cheats on you?
The same thing that would have happen if he had cheated on me for the first 3 years and change of our relationship. I. will. end. him. Which he knows, and I'm sure he finds completely reassuring.

Do you think you're going to "make it"?
EdNote: This, in my humblest of opinions, is the stupidest question ever. Because if I didn't like our chances, I would have dumped his ass awhile ago.
Uh, sure, whatever.

Even better than the douchelords who try to cast doubt on your impending relationsituation are the people who think that you're comrades-at-arms. These people typically picked up their "significant others" at some point between first and second semester of senior year (of college, not high school) and now view themselves as the gurus of long distance love.

(And don't even try to tell me that you don't know this couple. This is the couple that declared their love for one another in an excessively public manner way. too. fucking. soon. And then spent the next three months offering "advice" to couples who have been together since before they drunkenly hooked up.)

Here's a sample conversation you can expect to encounter:

Bimbo: So do you and your boyf have a plan?
Me: Pardon?
Bimbo: Because well, me and Bimbette have our relationship sustainability plan all figured out. We're going to communicate via text message three times daily, with a nightly phone call and a twice weekly skype sex sesh, then, we've agreed to visit each other - on an alternating schedule - once every three weekends and I'm already looking for jobs where she lives and she signed the lease on an apartment big enough for both of us and our three pet orchids.
Me: Well then. I need a drink.

It's a brave new world, kidderoonies!
Good thing I have a readerless blog to entertain.

You need to go do this now.

Zach's oprah deal from Zach Anner on Vimeo.

This fantastically hilarious gentleman is in the running for his own show on Oprah's new cable channel. So you need to go vote for him. Because he's hilarious.

Review/Notes: How to Write a BA Thesis, Chapters 1-4

This "Practical Guide from Your First Ideas to Your Finished Paper" by Charles Lipson is on my list of required reading before the start of fall semester. Because it is intended to guide me along my journey to Honors Graduation, I feel like there's no time like the present to commit some notes and comments to the memories of the internet.

Part One: Getting Started

This first part of the book sets you up with a general overview of how the book is written as well as how it should be read. Lipson seems keen to make this book a truly practical guide in that he recommends leaving certain chapters at certain stages of the thesis process. (In fact, every chapter is helpfully labeled with "When this Chapter should be Read" depending on whether your project is meant to be conducted over one or two semesters. This seems really helpful, but alas, these benefits will be lost of me as the whole 400 page experience is due by September 7th. To be fair, I can probably reread it on the prescribed schedule but that spoils the surprise.

Moving on! Chapter two, entitled "Useful Nuts and Bolts", walks you through everything one ought to do in preparation for the thesis research/writing process. In addition to suggesting that you take classes relating to your major (seems like a no-brainer to me), Lipson recommends choosing courses that require lengthier writing assignments in order to adequately prepare oneself/impress a potential future adviser. Now, I don't know what college students Charles Lipson has hung out with, but that just doesn't seem like advice that everyone is going to embrace.

No matter, he does offer some compelling, if a little obvious, advice on what makes a good adviser. Of course, you ought to be comfortable with said professor (I call mine Keanu behind his back) and set up regular meetings with clear expectations and yadda yadda yadda. I've got that covered, so I mostly skimmed that part. But the chapter did come through with the promised "useful nuts and bolts", including some much appreciated pointers on how to assemble a functional reading list.

Part two: Framing your topic.

Chapter three gets right into it: don't fucking plagiarize, kids. Because plagiarism does not an excellent thesis make. Lipson does offer a lot of really excellent tips for notetaking to avoid accidental plagiarism, however. These insights include: framing direct quotes with the letter "Q" and citation information, find a method to distinguish your own thoughts on the readings (he recommends brackets/your initials) and keeping a running bibliography with all your notes and stuff.

On page 37, Lipson says that notes should:

• Capture the main points of each article
• Focus on parts of the work most closely related to your topic
• Use clear markings to distinguish your comments from the author's language, preventing any accidental plagiarism
• Record the bibliographic information you need for citation
• Develop your own insights, as prompted by the readings, so you can draw on them later

Pretty straightforward, right? Absolutely!

Moving on to chapter four, which deals with two major points: narrowing your topic and writing a decent research proposal. Now, I wrote a 25 page research proposal for the junior "pre-honors" seminar I had to take last year for what will be referred to here as the "Pre-Keanu topic." It was a pretty impressive paper, but the topic was shit and not very well defined. Also, the paper was probably shit...but it made up for it by being impressive shit, indeed.

Charles Lipson (can I call him Charlie?) recommends that I write a new one...a new one that is, blissfully, only 1-2 pages and answers the questions "What is my topic?", "Why is it important?" and "How do I go about answering it?"

Guess what, Charlie? I intend to do just that before my next meeting with Adviser Keanu.

Stay tuned for part three!

Return from the Internetless Wilderness

Hello again!

After spending the long weekend in an environment where the internet was, in fact, not free (or even cheap), I am back and getting caught up on what's what in the online world. Like my schoolwork (or fights on Jezebel). Wedding weekend was fantastic (if drunken) -- I spent plenty of time catching up with members of the extended family, dancing like a moron and almost melting in the heat of a Saint Louis summer.

But now that I'm back from that adventure (and still on vacation for another week), it's time to get back to my list of things to do. Let's take a look at today's chunk of the grandmaster list:

• Read 100 pages of How to Write a BA Thesis by Charles Lipson
• Complete 5 pages of 20 page French paper (due the first day of fall classes)
• Get caught up on emails
• Work out (more than likely to the sweet sweet music of The Daily Show)

So there you have it. Not exactly a slow day at the office, but it certainly seems to be a manageable load (provided that I get a start on it sometime soon). I find that breaking down my relatively large summer workload into reasonable daily chunks makes it seem a lot less threatening.
Beyond getting that four-part list done, I have two other projects in the works. Like, what do I do with the fruit? My good-buddy-from-the-homeland Grace gave me that lovely assortment of fruits from the Korean marketplace. But now, what do I do with it? I feel like it might be time to try my hand at compote. Or a baked apple. Suggestions, hungry hivemind?


Then, we have July ladymag bonanza! Obsessing over the mainstream media is one of my favorite pastimes, but I really only have the opportunity to do it on breaks from school. So I decided to buy all the "good" magazines for July and see what I can learn. (The "good" ones being Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Redbook -- I like the recipes! -- and Glamour.)

I plan to see what they have to tell me.

Working it out.

Last night, for the first time in forever, I got my daily dose of cardio...indoors. Typically, I'm a walker; this, combined with working in a highly physical environment means that I almost never see the need to hit up the gym. But there's one in the building so I cleaned and strapped on my trusty gym shoes. And got in some elliptical action.

I'm not going to lie, working out at night was a little weird, and I'm not sure how to feel about pounding the low-impact pavement after eating a full meal. But I did my cardio and worked on my shoulders and arms and then went to bed, fully intending to get up and try a morning work out.

That didn't exactly happen. My shoulders were sore and I had a bunch of cleaning to do. So, taking a page from NPR, I decided to turn my cleaning into a workout. The story "Hotel Maids Challenge the Placebo Effect" tells the tale of two groups of maids -- one who was informed of their caloric output on any given shift, and one who wasn't. Surprisingly to researchers, the group that was told of their physical activity actually lost weight, had a drop in blood pressure, BMI and waist-to-hip ratio.

With that in mind, I hit the cleaning like I hit the elliptical last night. While not as taxing, I definitely felt like I was getting more exercise than I would just cleaning mindlessly. But all cleaning aside (still have laundry and a bathroom to do), I also set up my beautification station for all the pre-wedding prep you could ever want.That's right, Walgreen's sells 5-blade disposable razors - perfect for getting yourself swimsuit ready. Which is absolutely terrifying. Let me tell you: I prefer to keep it au natural downstairs (one part laziness, one part pathological fear of ingrowns, infection and hot dripping wax), but when you're headed out to be surrounded by a bunch of judgey people in swimsuits, its best to make some effort to keep up appearances. And if you're going to do it, you may as well practice a little blade overkill.

Anyways, so I'm currently in the process of beautifying my (terrifying) feet. This entails sanding them down with that there belt sander on a pink handle (oh so feminine), soaking them in a tub full of hot water and Old Spice body wash (because my brother is the man your man could smell like), slathering on that foot creme (guaranteed to hydrate your feet to a room temperature melting point), and putting on socks. The socks have been on for a few hours now...but they're going to have to come off when I bathe.

Yes, Ma, I already "fixed" my eyebrows, don't worry.

I will then paint my little tootsies a tasteful, yet sufficiently young, bronze-y neutral. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to actually paint my nails, or if I'd rather just use that fancy nail rubix cube to burnish them to a classy shine.

Either way, I'll keep you posted.

Here's some hotness for you.

대한민국!
Photo Credit: osen.co.kr

On cousins and packing for weddings and fun.

As I've mentioned before, this weekend we are headed to a wedding. It's going to be a little three day adventure filled with food, fun, family and (most hopefully) free booze. To say that I'm "pumped" is a bit of an understatement, so I started packing today -- a full two days before departure.

At right, you can see all of my clothes laid out on the (teeny, tiny twin) bed. There's my bathing suit (which will be paired with a pair of denim cut-off capris), a floaty top and denim pencil skirt (for Sunday brunch), my wedding/reception ensemble and a sundress/cardigan combo for a family barbeque/stand-up show/bar crawl on Friday.

The best part is that it all looks fabulous paired with that gray quilted leather bag at bottom right, and the brown/brass sandals at bottom left. (Actually, I'm really very lucky to have stumbled upon a few very classy/timeless/made-to-last pieces in my 21 years on this planet. It means that I always have a decent fall-back in the "looking good" department.)

But let's take a minute to talk about those beautiful shoes sitting front and cent in the bottom. Those, my internet friends, are Tod's and they are gorgeous. Let's get a close-up:They are navy blue patent t-strap sandals with a low-ish heel. (I'd guestimate about 3 inches.) The best part is, they were on clearance at Nordstrom's -- and I didn't pay for them. No, for that, we have AnonymousMama to thank: I am also going to be in a wedding come October and she didn't want me to break the bank purchasing shoes to match the bridesmaid dress. (I promise, my experiences as a bridesmaid will be covered extensively at a later date.)

The best part about the weekend ensemble? It all fits in a the Nordstrom's shopping bag I got when I purchased the shoes, except the dress (which will be hung in a garment bag in the car) and my various toiletries (which will be thrown, along with my computer and calendar, into a tote that I affectionately call "big brown").

In short, I'm really excited for this weekend, especially to hang out with my cousins. Which is funny, because when I was younger I did not relish the experience. It seemed awkward and forced to pretend to care about these people once a year -- these people who share a (dead) set of grandparents with me, but no common interests or experiences.

I gritted my teeth and prayed for a quick and merciful end to Thanksgiving, when we lived too far away to show up for Christmas, I silently rejoiced and when summer vacations meant forced "fun" by the pool, I silently begged for a reason to take the car and go have a cigarette.

And then something funny happened: we started being friends. It began with Facebook chat, graduated to texting and email and before you knew it, we (the "old" cousins) began making plans to see each other without the prompting of our parents.

There's just so much to talk about.

We can commiserate about the (rather archaic) rules about segregating sleeping arrangements, make fun of our more right-wing aunts and uncles, and enjoy the fact that we're old enough to drink and call a taxi. This also marks the first time that I won't be relying on my parents for transportation (or rather, be obligated to serve as their DD).

I'll be doing my own thing...and that hopefully includes drunk swimming.

Sweet new thing to read!

My awesome cousin turned me on to this awesome blog, which offers in awesome (and free!) eCookbook full of 5 ingredient "minimalist home cooking" recipes.

As a bonus, each recipe takes approximately 10 minutes to make.

stonesoup

Check it out!
Spread the love!

On smoking, food, and "getting fat".

Yesterday, Jezebel ran a post called "French Women Smoke to Remain Thin at All Costs." It, as the title would suggest, examines the relationship between the rate of young(er) women in France smoking cigarettes and their desire to remain desirably thin. Looking to unpack the social pressures placed on women to be thin, it calls for less judgment on body size/perceived "fatness" in hopes that women will feel more comfortable with their bodies and, in turn, quit smoking.

It was a decent article.

And of course, the comments derailed the goodness of the article.* One, in particular, stuck out at me. User lizae writes:

Invite a friend to comment

So I guess if I spend next spring in Paris I need to add "I'd rather be fat than have cancer" to my French phrase repertoire.

But would you, really? If you would, than kudos to you, miss. For some of us, it's a little more complicated than that. For what it's worth, I didn't start smoking to lose weight or stay at a particular weight, or anything even remotely like that. I started because everyone in Korea smokes, and that was just the way it was. (PSA: Kids! Don't befriend Eastern Europeans, you'll learn how to hold your liquor and blow smoke rings!)

But now that I'm a smoker? Well, quitting is going to take some serious planning and consideration, and you can bet your ass that weight gain factors into it. Earlier this year, I put on 22 pounds due to a change in medication. Only recently, have I started getting it to come off. The idea that quitting smoking - regardless of increased exercise - could cause me to gain some (or all) of it back is terrifying.

But let's talk about the underlying causes for a minute, shall we? I am lucky to be a relationship where there is no pressure for me to be skinny. He's loved me when I was a little on the chunkier side, and he's loved me when I wound up a little unfortunately emaciated. (Here's another tip, if you are even remotely competitive/inclined to food-related neuroses, do not under any circumstances, make work-out buddies with someone who has been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder.)

But that's part of the problem. He and I, and a group of our friends love to eat together. Cooking en masse, we can eat a huge dinner (allegedly with leftovers) for three bucks a person. But there are never leftovers and these people act like vegetables are some strange biproduct corn-fed beef. (Well...we could debate that.) So it's hard to work on my own weight/image issues and still keep up my typical social eating schedule.

So I had a melt-down: My clothes don't fit! I have no money to buy new clothes! My stomach conditions require a diet with fiber! And I'm supposed to watch my sugar intake! I can't hang out with you people if you're only going to feed me transfats and refined carbohydrates!

It was epic, and I did it at 6:30 in the morning before work.

A little melodramatic? Absolutely...but I think the message got across. We've started incorporating vegetables (cheap vegetables, but vegetables nonetheless) into the repertoire. We play frisbee while the grill heats up, or walk to the pool hall instead of driving. There are talks about going to the batting cages. And, as it turns out, I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with what we've been eating.

To get back to my original point, I'm working on my weight through diet and exercise and I'll quit when I'm ready.

...Whenever that is.

*I love Jezebel, and I think it really is a great, judgment-free community. Unless of course, they're talking about a subject that it's "okay" to judge: like smokers, parents with large strollers and Taylor Swift.

Adult Milestone: Going to a wedding.

There are certain things that define being an adult: going to a wedding where you can make the best of the open bar is one of them. This is also a milestone because it will be the first time my boyfriend of more than three years is meeting (dunh dunh dunh) my father's side of the family. Why it has taken this long is a mystery to me, but it is going to happen this weekend and it feels like a big. fucking. deal.

Bring on the interrogation, skepticism and general tomfoolery!
You will respect my adult relationship, damnit!

Actually, that's probably not true at all: we will get interrogated, they will question us about our sex life, offer unsolicited advice and (more than likely) some level of criticism. But if all goes well, he won't dump me, and we'll both be invited back.

But on to the fun stuff!It's a summer wedding, and its expected to be hot-as-balls. At the same time, it could be cold inside where its air conditioned. So this here is a relative approximation of what I'll be wearing this weekend. To go underneath it, I have a very supportive strapless bra.

Should be a very interesting weekend.

To Budget, or Not to Budget?

I am a reformed dumbass.

For my first three years of university, I threw all notions of a "budget" to the wind. I had a good job, I could pay my cell phone bill, buy groceries and prevent unwanted pregnancy -- completely unaided by loans, parental units or my boyfriend. I was living large on my own personal (collegiate) party barge.
And now I'm screwed.

To say that I lack funding would put me up for The Understatement of the Year award. Here's the current breakdown:

Checking: $21.01
Savings: $50.00
Purse: $11.56

Things are looking dire, friends! But I have seen the error of my ways and am working towards a new, financially healthy way of life. Luckily, I'm with my family for the next week or so (more on that later) which means I have a little time to eat/launder/smoke and drink for free. (This is especially helpful as I don't get paid for another two weeks.) I also have a little time to sort through my expenses and make a budget.

I didn't know a whole hell of a lot about creating a budget, but a buddy of mine turned me onto this site called mint.com. A nifty little planning tool, it offers these basic guidelines:

There are a few rules of thumb that you should keep in mind. Your housing expenses shouldn’t exceed about 33% of your income. And your total debt payment (which ideally should be zero!) probably shouldn’t exceed 30%. If you have more debt than that, it’s time to start cutting spending and looking for ways to cut fees on credit card accounts, savings accounts and other ways to save.

After signing up for this free and ostensibly very secure website, you can play around with your monthly budget: assigning different amounts to different categories of things. Because you sync your accounts/loans/credit cards to your mint.com account, it will automatically deduct from the correct budget amount. (If you find it to be incorrect, it's super easy to move it around to the right category.)

Here's my budget lay-out for June:

Try not to judge all that red. (I did just return from an unpaid internship in a very expensive foreign capitol.) But now you get the gist of what it looks like. At the top right corner, you can see the projected monthly savings on the current plan.

My pie in the sky goal for this year is to graduate with $3,500 to my name. It is my hope that $1,500 will come from cutting down on my monthly expenses. The rest of the money will come from various holidays and (hopefully) graduation checks. In a couple of weeks, I'll be generating an income again, so the numbers will hopefully be less dismal.

I'll keep you posted.

Dorm Egg Salad

When I'm not kicking (academic) ass, I work in a very large dorm cafeteria. If I didn't work there (and if I had a meal plan), I might even find the food options attractive. Alas! Those days have come and gone and I can easily work a 12 hours shift and find nothing even remotely appetizing.

But I gotta eat, so when a coworker/RA-with-Unlimited-Meal-Plan offered to "swipe me in" for dinner, I decided that eating for free sounded like a good idea. My options looked bleak, so I decided to get creative.
Into the crappy plastic salad bowl went:
-two hard boiled eggs (cut into 1/4'd wedges)
-1 tablespoon mayonnaise
-1 teaspoon mustard (or more to taste)
-Salt/Pepper/Sriracha to taste.

Then you smoosh it all up in your salad bowl and eat with some pita triangles. High-ho, deliciousness. And if you're at all concerned about nutritional information, here it is:

Nutrition Facts 1 Serving Amount Per Serving Calories 253.3 Total Fat 20.8 g Saturated Fat 4.8 g Polyunsaturated Fat 1.4 g Monounsaturated Fat 4.2 g Cholesterol 427.8 mg Sodium 310.0 mg Potassium 134.9 mg Total Carbohydrate 2.5 g Dietary Fiber 0.2 g Sugars 1.0 g Protein 12.9 g *Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

If you're concerned about fat and/or general caloric intake, you could easily sub in "salad dressing" (aka Miracle Whip) or opt for fat free mayo. Or, skip it all together and use more mustard with a little bit of lemon or vinegar for bite.

Even better than the nutritive options is the price point! For me, it was free, but if you were going to make this at home, it would be ridiculously cheap:

Two eggs: roughly 32 cents
Mayonnaise: can be as cheap as 9 cents
Mustard: approximately 3 cents used
Sriracha: 29 cents an ounce.

All in all, this meal would have cost me about 60 cents.

Not bad, I don't think.

Game Plan

When contemplating the beginning of the end of the beginning of my life, it becomes more and more clear that some intense goal setting is in order. These goals are more than just idealistic motivators -- they serve as a way to keep me accountable (at a time where "senioritis" is the norm).

As of right now, I have several long-term, thematic goals that I would like to accomplish this year:

-Complete a senior honors thesis in Political Science, so that I can graduate with honors.
-Establish and maintain a healthy lifestyle, complete with balanced diet and regular intentional exercise.
-Regain control of my finances/budgeting, in the hopes of graduating with at least $1,000 in my savings account.
-Maintain relationship with my significant other of more than three years, or know when the relationship should no longer be maintained.
-Find full-time employment for my post-graduate life.

So that's the heavy.
Later on, we'll get back to the funny.

[ETA]: Perhaps I should include "Quit Nicotine, Caffeine and Alcohol" as a goal...but what fun is that?

The beginning of the end of the beginning.

Less than one year from today, I will graduate from a four-year university and I am terrified. Truth be told, I feel no closer to being a "real-live grown-up" now than I did at the beginning of my college career three years ago, but I recognize that some serious preparation is in order as I contemplate the perils of the real world.

You don't actually need to know my name to know who I am: an overambitious, multiple-majoring, straight, white female who has spent the last three years working hard at a dead-end job to make ends meet. I don't have a car, a full-time job or a 401k, and I'm still on my dad's health insurance. In roughly 11 months, that will all change.

This is my story.

But, really, isn't it everyone's?