Review: Five Guys Burgers.

Now, don't get me wrong here, I do enjoy a good burger. But I do not necessarily ever feel it necessary to order a "restaurant" burger. (After all, why would anyone pay 10+ dollars to buy something they can easily make at home...especially when there are so many other delicious things on the menu.) So my "burgers I will pay money for" list really only includes fast food. (Which is sort of gross.)

But move over, Steak'n'Shake and Wendy's, because I have discovered Five Guys.

As a concept, Five Guys Burgers and Fries is pretty simple. You can order, burgers or fries or burgers and fries.

For two people to eat cheeseburgers (with all the fixings you could ever imagine), fries (we split a regular sized order) and drinks, it cost about 15 dollars. And it was worth it.

So here's a picture of my delicious delicious burger:
Texture-wise, this burger was perfectly balanced. The burger was juicy, the bun was fluffy and soft and the vegetables gave it a beautiful crunch.

Get on this.

New Obsession: Next Iron Chef.

That's right, friends. My life away from blogging has given me the time necessary to fall in love with the Food Network Show Next Iron Chef. For complete recaps, you can check out one of my favorite websites FoodNetworkHumor.

But I'd like to take this moment to declare myself on Team Ming Tsai.

Seriously.

How I got my life back.

It, my friends, has been a long couple of months. (Unexpected illnesses with bonus caregiver duties will do that to you.) Dropping out of school for close to a month will fuck your shit up too. But I'm back, I'm finally caught up and I'm hoping to finally get this show on the road. Let's do some updating, shall we:

-All of my family members are alive, although it will most certainly be a long road to recovery.
-College football season (the best season, as far as I'm concerned) is well under way. This should provide some interesting fodder for posts.
-Bought all the stuff to do the 30 Day Shred. I haven't started shredding yet, but I will, I promise!
-Learned how to make the perfect omelette.
-Joined LinkedIn and started searching for a job.
-Was rejected from Teach for America.

Onwards we go, friends!

Where do you get your energy?

I recently found this blog called The Document, and its fairly entertaining for a more journal-type blog. (So you know, don't go there to find recipes.) Her most recent entry details how she finds her energy (hint: it's not caffeine) and how that affects her life.

Apparently, this blogger (bloggette?), named Jenna is one of the rare breeds who "derive[s her] excitement and energy from everything [she] do[es]". (To be honest, I'm not sure whether or not to be jealous or puke a little bit.) And I find the concept interesting -- it got me thinking and I realized just how different I am.

I don't derive pleasure, excitement or energy from the things that I do -- doing them requires energy and I derive a sick sense accomplishment over getting things done. I enjoy having research on a particular subject done and filed away. It means less work when it comes time to write. My laundry and dishes get done because I enjoy having the freedom to sit around and marathon Dexter Season 4 (which is excellent, by the way) and I only ever hit the gym in the morning because I feel almost disgustingly self-satisfied knowing that I won't have to do it later.

It's sort of sick and twisted. As is my relationship with caffeine. See, I like the taste of coffee and there is no better way to start the morning (at least in my humblest of opinions) than a pot (or two) of coffee. During winter, there is no better afternoon beverage than a hot cup (or two)(or twelve) of coffee. It's problematic, I know, but very rarely do I use caffeine to "get" my energy. It's just a tasty beverage that runs through my veins.

But how do you get your energy, readership?

On Sleeping Alone.

Sleeping alone has been a bit of a hurdle for me. I don't mean that in the clingy "ohmygod, I need to co-sleep" way either. There just comes a point in time where you spend three-plus years crawling into the same shitty bed with the same person that you come to get used to it. And when that sense of normalcy goes away, it can be a bit of an adjustment.

I have two beds in my apartment. Well, one's a pull-out. I could go sleep in the little one by myself, but I don't like the mattress as much. Meanwhile, the pull-out feels so damn empty when its just me. It's been a bit of struggle. An internal one, really. But one on which I'm working.

Adult Milestone: Caring for an Ailing Parent.

This is not a place from which I ever wanted to write. At least not for the next 15 to 20 years. But here I am, in the hospital, the primary "adult" responsible for my mother's care and keeping for the foreseeable future.

The role reversal is weird. I keep the family informed, she focuses on being healed. Doctors talk to me, she quietly receives treatment. Meanwhile, she fights to establish that she is, in fact, "the adult here." Whatever you say.

I don't yet know what's going on, or how long our lives will be on hold here in medical limbo.
But I do know that I'm not old enough for this shit.

It's been too long.

I am well aware that the end of the summer has brought on a period of suckitude in blog-land. Don't worry, as the school year kicks up and I spend more time at a computer, the bloggerific world of Anonymous College Graduate will get up to speed.

In the mean time, what have I been doing? Well, there's been full-time work and full-time play and an epic mad rush to get enough research to face Keanu (that's the thesis adviser) without shame. There's been lots of food and the perils of living in an un-airconditioned apartment, too much caffeine, too much nicotine and entirely too much alcohol.

...it's been great.

This week, I've been down visiting the Significant Other in his new state of residence. I've used this week to really ramp up for the coming year: I finally finalized my fall schedule, ordered some of my text books and have managed to condense a shit load of research into not a lot of time.

Expect great things in the near-to-immediate future.

So go to Hell and build a snowman, girl.

I have a complicated relationship with Eminem. When I was in middle school, back in California, and the Slim Shady first came out, my family hid from the fact that we hailed from Detroit. Parents on the schorol yard held my mother personally accountable for the fact that Marshall Mathers existed and while other 7th-graders jammed to the sweet sweet beats of Eminem, I was forced to listen to Bob Seger and Delbert McClinton in order to reinforce a positive musical image of the place where I was born.

Suffices to say, that when I first discovered Eminem during my second year of Catholic high school, my mother was not pleased. But how can any high school sophomore resist "Lose Yourself"? I jammed my way through "Hailey's Song" and "Cleaning up my Closet" and managed to find a real connection with Marshall's white-boy-in-Detroit struggles all the way through my fourth-year-of-high-school-in-Korea.

Then, I promptly forgot about my homeboy Eminem.
...Until he came out with Recovery, his newest album.


Recovery will stick you in the gut, in the best possible way.

Tell me that you weren't sucked into that...

That's right, you can't.

What are your favorite guilty-music-pleasures-that-your-parents-never-approved-of?

Exciting things!

1. My savings account has hit the $2,000 mark! Helloooo post-graduation financial solvency!
2. The TeachforAmerica application has gone live!
   

Mistakes Made Junior Year

I think we've all been there. When looking back on a certain period in our lives, we recognize that mistakes have been made and that now is the time for change. For sure, I realize that my third year of university was one of mistake after mistake -- bad habit after bad habit -- solidified.

But I recognize it now, and fully intend to work towards a newer, better, ready-for-the-real-world me.

I've pinpointed some of my major junior pitfalls and will document them here for posterity:

1. I didn't prioritize right...especially in terms of my work-life/school-life balance. It was too easy to focus on what I could execute to perfection constantly (that being my low-level service job) as opposed to what needed constant incremental work in order to hit less than perfect results (that being school work). Beyond that, I spent entirely too much time lapping up the drama that a close-knit staff breeds. It was distracting, stressful and entirely unnecessary (and these things showed in my semester-ly results).
2. Speaking of drama: last year was full of it. From all angles (except, ironically, my love-life). I had close friends break up, close friends need near-constant emotional support and a family that needed me. The emotional toll was exhausting, but I often felt that those people needed me more than my studies needed me. (Of course, sometimes that was absolutely true...but a lot of the time, it was not.)
3. Monetarily speaking, I screwed up last year. My paychecks/savings would easily cover my fixed monthly expenses (read: cellphone, cable, groceries and cigarettes), so I gave myself a blank check to go out and have fun. This problem was only compounded by my turning 21 (I essentially went on a four-month bar-bender). I've documented my financial hole ad nauseum in previous entries, so I don't really need to go further.
4. I lost myself and I lost my connection to God. This is an ongoing issue.
5. I compromised my study-habits and motivation to spend time with the one I love. And this is the one mistake for which I feel no need to apologize. But this coming year, I need to really buckle down.

So there you have it, a brief compendium of my third year mistakes. Have you ever looked back on a period in your life and said "Wow, I really screwed that one up"? How did you move past it? What are your biggest shortfalls and how are you working on them?

Photo credit: InternetGenerated.com

Returning. Actually.

This time, I mean it.

The past few weeks have been extremely busy. Lots of working, getting set up for the coming year, and really sitting down to think about who I am, what I want, and where I'm going. Plus, the full-time work schedule has left surprisingly little time for dicking around on the internet. Suffices to say that shit's getting real and its really insane.

As a negative by-product of this insanity, I've really felt adrift/not really collected. Which is why I'm going to make a huge effort to keep things up here. I feel better when I have somewhere to talk to myself.

So what's been going on?
-I finished the dreaded thesis book more than one month before the start of classes. It ended up being to dry and/or self-explanatory to document here, but the real good news is that it's done and I no longer need to worry about it.
-Me and Keanu finally hammered out the direction my research needs to take over the course of the summer. That's not to say that near enough research has gotten done.
-I've worked. A lot. And almost-but-not-quite gotten myself out of the financial hole.

And that's really it. We've also had some really weird weather. (As seen above.)

But seriously.
Expect great things in the very near future.

An ode to non-traditional collegiate athletes.

I am an athlete. (And I don't mean that in a "feel my roaring strength on the treadmill" way, either.) I am actually an athlete who routinely dons the school colours to represent my university at intercollegiate events on a national (and occasionally international) stage. I put on my game face and represent my university by playing my heart out.

But none of that really matters, because I don't play football. (Or basketball, or track or whatever else is more important/interesting than my sport.) I buy my own equipment and I pay my own way to meets. The costs are enormous, but I don't typically mind -- I get satisfaction from playing my sport well. So why don't you notice me?

Why doesn't the pep band ever show up to serenade me? Why do I only ever have three fans at a time? Why does no one on campus ever recognize me? Does the fact that I don't do my thing in a large stadium make me any less important?

I guess so.

So, over the next few weeks/months, I'm going to hunt down some less-than-well-known college athletes and sing their praises so that they know that, at the very least, I care.

Spiced Candied Nuts

Yesterday, in kitchen experimentation, I attempted to spice up my candied nuts. Candied nuts, in and of themselves, are pretty simple. You toast some nuts, melt (and try not to kill yourself) some sugar, toss to coat and salt if desired. They're simple and delicious. But I wanted to try something new, so I added some spices. Namely, Hungarian paprika and cinnamon.

Here's the recipe:
1 cup of toasted walnuts (to toast: lay flat on baking sheet and toss in 350 oven for five minutes)
1 cup of roasted, salted cashews
1+ cup of sugar
roughly 1/4 cup of paprika and cinnamon
After the sugar is melted, add the spice mixture (off the heat)...it will smoke like the dickens, but throw the nuts in and stir anyway. Then, lay it out on a baking sheet and attempt to separate the chunky bunches. (Good Luck).
What did I think?
Well, it might just be the humidity, but it never hardened up the way I wanted it to. It was still delicious. But it didn't give me the same candied crunch as the straight-sugar version. Also, it didn't have the spice level I was looking for. (This might be because I was using sweeter paprika.)

All in all? Pretty tasty, but in need of some tweaking.

Mea Culpa

Sorry for the absence, friends!

Getting settled back into a 40 hour work week/general routine has really tripped me out, time wise. But you can go ahead and expect great things soon!

Pulled Pork!

Tonight, I made pulled pork. And now you can too! You need:

• Leftover cooked pork products (I had approximately 3/4 rack of ribs and 3 pork steaks.)
• Beer (I used two cans).
  
• Worcestershire sauce and other seasons.

Put all of this in a large pot, turn to simmer and leave it alone for the next 3 or so hours.While it's cooking RESIST the urge to pull the meat off the bones and/or attempting to shred the meat to speed the process. If you just let it do its thing, the meat will fall off the bone on it's own. When that happens, you can use your trusty, scary-looking utensils to fish out the bones and gently tear the meat. (That's my scary looking utensil right there.)

If you did it right, the meat won't need much prompting. It will fall off the bones on its own and the fat will be all rendered and delicious.

When it's done, slather it in some sauce and enjoy!

July Ladymag: Marie Claire.

Here we go!

I love reading (and making fun of) ladymags. Most unfortunately, my real life doesn't typically afford me the time to really read what these people have to say. Not so during the summer, my friends! Here's what I learned from Marie Claire this month:

• Taylor Swift is the next best thang EVAR. She got a new tour bus (that she bought from Cher) and recently redecorated. She likes whimsical and girly frocks, which MC thinks look good with combat boots.
• WOMEN SHOULDN'T HAVE WOMEN FRIENDS! Because chick pals are too busy telling us what we want to hear...mmmkay?
• They trotted out the same old "how to look sexy for summer" trope. Here's a hint, chickadees...waterproof eyeliner! Beachy waves! blah blah blah et cetera.
• You can take control of your sex life! By giving your manfriend head!

Actually, I shouldn't be too hard on them...they actually managed to have some decently well-written and informative articles. But I was too busy giggling at the ridiculous to notice.

A busy busy day.

Today was jampacked insane. It started when I had to be up way too early in order to see my parents off (they're headed back to the homeland), and just continued from there. I got my work out in (How pathetic is this: I had to Google "How to execute bicycle crunches".) and then sat around drinking coffee and working on my French paper until it was time to go to the movies. (Read: Sat around crushing on AJ Daulerio)

A note on the French Paper: I have hit the halfway mark (ten pages) and am beginning to think that this is actually the easiest paper I've ever written. I say this, not because the length isn't daunting, but because I don't have to do anything except recount my experiences.

So today we (me and the little brother) saw Cyrus. It was certainly one epic fuck ton of a lot better than The Last Airbender which I was forced to see yesterday (Brosephat had to write a review for his class). The odd thing about Cyrus though, was that it was all over the place. It went from being hilariously slap-stick funny (and witty!) to being kind of poignant and indie. And the cinematography was pseudo-documentary-ish.

We left the theatre shouting "We are so fucking scene."

After returning to the domicile, I set about planning my day. First, I painted my toe-nails a suitably summery color.Let me be the first to say (without being endorsed by Maybelline in any way, shape or form), that express finish in 50 seconds isn't kidding around. It rocked and was dry in no time at all. (In real life, though, it's more teal than blue.)

After that, I set out (between loads of laundry) to do a little light shopping: things bought today include two new beads for my Pandora bracelet (That shit is expensive, yo) and some things from Gap. For myself, a new office-appropriate skirt, a pair of jeans, and this adorable navy and white striped boat-neck shirt. Plus, I picked up a cardigan from the men's department for weekend knock-arounds. For my brother, (why yes, I do do my brother's back to school shopping for him...do you have a problem with that?) I found some polo shirts on clearance and a new hoodie.

...we'll make a fashion plate out of him yet.

Later: pulled pork, packing and a lady mag take-down.

A love letter to AJ Daulerio.

I love sports.
And Deadspin.com.
I also love Jezebel, as you may probably have deduced.

I also love AJ Daulerio.
And today he's guest editing Jezebel.

AND IT'S SO AWESOME.

More sweet shit later, kids.

In honor of the holiday...

Here are three songs that have nothing to do with patriotism (but are good for the 4th of July anyway).


Credit: YouTube.com



Credit: YouTube.com


My personal favorite!

Credit: YouTube.com


And finally, one song that always brings tears:

Credit: YouTube.com

Happy Independence Day, my friends!

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" or: How to Pick a Fight and Win.

I am a fighter and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have a short fuse and a temper to be reckoned with. When I was younger, this temper would run unchecked and I would pick fights with a force of self-righteous anger that would thrill even the iciest of ice queens.

My friends, I was a bitch.
Like, a huge bitch.

When I came to college, I discovered that, no matter how articulate I was (or how loud I got), people had a hard time seeing my way -- especially the menfolk in a university setting. It seems, my friends, that women who yell, who argue, who get angry are insane members of the army against the patriarchy. We're cute in our efforts to fight for what we deem right. We're something to be patronized and condescended to.

In short, we're never going to win.

So when I came to college and discovered this unfortunate condition of life as a woman, I lost my fight for a little while. By learning to keep my mouth shut, I let things go. It was a simple life. I got called "sweetheart" a lot. My tits got a lot of compliments. My course of study was questioned a lot. But at least I wasn't wasting a lot of energy fighting, right? Riiiight.

In the past year, however, things have changed. I'm becoming a grown-up with my very own grown-up responsibilities and sometimes, I need to fight to get what I deserve. In order to avoid the pitfalls of being a feisty woman, I've developed a set of rules entitled "When to fight and how to do it" which I will share with you.

Keep on fighting, friends.

1. Choose your battles wisely.
This age-old adage from your mother/grandmother/whoever is wiser than we may have ever thought. For example...(and these are all actual examples from my actual, if anonymous, life) I don't go to Human Resources every time somebody calls me "sweetheart" "honey" or "baby". I don't go to my manager every time I feel slightly molested by a compliment or a passing touch. (Don't tell the harder core feminists I said that, they'll be all over me in two seconds flat.) There are a number of reasons for this:

1. I like some of the people calling me "hon". Actually, one manager admitted to me that, in our work place with more than 300 student employees, he calls all the females "hon" and all the males "buddy". Since this admission, I have thought twice before getting pissed. (This manager also knows my name now, so it's all good in the hood, so to speak.)
2. Sometimes, the battle isn't worth the effort. I have had employees (yes, I have employees) who have enjoyed trying to get under my skin. Think: comments along the lines of "Hey Sugartits!". In the past, I would have flown off the handle...told them to fuck off or gone to a supervisor. Now, I realize that sometimes, (feel free to call me a bad feminist) it's better to just keep my mouth shut. The ones who I truly hate, I ignore entirely. The lack of response generally solves the problem. As for the ones who use these lines out of social awkwardness and actual attraction (and they're usually much, much, younger than me) I usually flirt back...excessively. And I know, it's mean...it's kind of cruel. But actually, some of my best work friendships have started from attractions gone awry. End point: sometimes, it's better to lay low and see what happens. Before calling in reinforcements.
3. At the end of the day, think about your own reputation. It's on par with the little boy who cried wolf. Wait until it's bad enough to change the way you see you're environment. Petty squabbles do not warrant a full-on bitch slap. If you abuse your fighting powers, you might be regarded as "shrill", or worse yet, "whiny." Keep in mind: The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but only when that wheel has a penis.
   

2. Work from the bottom up.
We live in a "go to the top" world. We know who the bosses are and we want them to gallop in on their white horses to rescue us from the things that piss us off. Resist the urge to bring in the big guns. Try working from the bottom up. For example (again, actual example), I'm currently involved in a long-term dispute with AT&T. (Trust me, this was not a battle of my choosing.) Though it might be quicker (and more explosive) to demand to speak with a supervisor, I have learned to trust working with regular old call center personnel. They might not be able to help me in three minutes or less, but if you are patient, they might just come through for you. Which all factors into my next tip.
(Also, in terms of work place disputes, I've found that outright telling the perpetrator that they're offending me works remarkably well.)

3. Be polite.
I don't like to say this to people, especially women, but a little politeness goes a long, long way. When I'm on the phone with AT&T (read: all the fucking time), I've started using phrases like "I know you're not the person who caused this issue, but it needs to be resolved immediately" and "I don't want you to step beyond your jurisdiction, so please reroute me to the next level so that this issue can be resolved as soon as possible." Stress the immediacy of your situation without blaming the person on the phone/email box/directly in front of you.

4. Don't be afraid to get angry.
The are times when you just need to let loose and be the biggest bitch that you can be. I find it helpful to define my deal-breakers.

• My money.
• My sexuality.
• My private life. (This includes: my relationship, my intelligence, and my personal decisions.)

What are your deal breakers?

Good luck, friends!
Win your personal fights!

Happy Fourth of July!


However you celebrate, do so safely and responsibly!

Photo credit: Library of the University of Minnesota

Adult Milestone: This waiter is trying to screw me!

Last night, I got to experience the adult experience of buying my parents a round of drinks. I had just gotten paid and wanted to purchase a round to show my appreciation and adultliness. So I did, and holy shit, was it ever an expensive show of adultliness but for three drinks, all doubles, it wasn't too bad (41.95).

I paid the bill and we left.

So here's the back story of our waiter: Carlos. I thought his service was decent, considering that he was dealing with a bunch of drunks (one of whom hasn't gotten hip to the "politically correct" jive), but there were some interesting blips on the radar.

-The woman paying the bill ordered a $59 bottle of wine. Good thing she checked it the label before they uncorked it: Carlos had brought a $259 bottle.
-My mother and I elected to split a twice baked potato (cost: $6.95), they brought us a plate of mashed potatoes (cost: $4.95), but charged us for the twice baked.
-I ordered a double rum and diet and was brought a "double double". (Keep this in mind, as it may factor into the story later.)

So I go online this morning, to check my account balances, and that fucker charged me twice! Once for 45 dollars (the drinks) and another time for ninety-six dollars. I couldn't believe it, personally. So I called the restaurant, and a lovely manager tried to explain to me how a checking account works.

So I explained to him that he'll cancel the transaction or hand me the cost of my drinks/extra charge in cash. (And there may have been some profanity involved.)

But really, I find this to be symptom of my age. No one, and I mean no one, seems to think my money is worth anything. Better yet, they treat me like my money is just for playing around with, and that someone (I assume the mythical Daddy-with-the-credit-cards) will bail me out. I go into stores and they won't offer to help me. But when I buy something, they try and sell me on a credit card that I don't need or want, and certainly can't afford.

Same way with hotels. Do you have any idea how troublesome it is for me to put something on a room tab? You can see the fear in the bartender's eyes: "uhoh, am I going to get in trouble for charging it to the room? Will her parents be mad?" Yea, they might be...but they're not here.

When will my money matter?

Photo credit: NateandTiff.com

Finding Motivation.

I needed some convincing to feel motivated today. I walked approximately 6 miles yesterday - in less than supportive shoes - and my feet were tired, I had had a beer with lunch and wasn't sure that working out would sit well and I could always do it later. Now, I knew I wasn't going to do it later, because I fully intend to have cocktails with dinner tonight and the only people I know who work out with a buzz are certifiable.

So, taking a page from Angela over at OhSheGlows, I did some things to feel more motivated:

• First, I put on my workout clothes and unloaded the dishwasher/worked on my paper until I felt stupid sitting around in workout and not running.
• Then, I promised myself that I would only have to do 5 minutes of cardio if I really wanted to.
• Finally, I thought about how good it would feel to get to have a rum and diet tonight...without the guilt associated from skipping a work out.

While most of those tips are taken from this wonderful post by Angela, I do have some motivating factors of my own.

Number one: GUILT. That's right, I know, we're not supposed to use guilt as some sort of sick, self-loathing factor in getting off the couch...but I'm Catholic and guilt is what I know works.

Because I always feel self-conscious at the gym, I make sure that my gym clothes are flattering and make me feel well, good-looking. This ensures that I can focus on the work out and how I feel as opposed to how my gut looks.

Finally, I look for the entertainment value. The older women striving desperately for some unattainable goal, the meat heads trying to score and the people who show up wearing make-up. What can I say, I'm a people watcher.

Anecdote Time!
A woman at the gym today said to me: "It's a good thing you're starting on maintenance now, you'll never get that body back after you have a baby."

...uh, thanks?

Do you like The Daily Show? Good, me too.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
World Cup 2010: Into Africa - Vuvuzealots
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Credit: TheDailyShow.com

Happy Canada Day!

Credit: CTV.ca

It's the end of the month, as we know it.

...And I feel fine.

I really do: Things in reformed dumb-ass land are going well, monetarily speaking. Though the month of June will continue to hang over my head (in terms of my savings goals) for a little bit here, I'm sort of back on top. Here's the stats:

Checking: 249.55
Savings: 320.00
Pocket: 5.00 (plus a whole shit ton of change)

Seriously, though. Much much better than I was when I last checked in. (And I get paid tomorrow!) This sudden good fortune is a product of me calling in a lot of debt from friends. (Big debt, yo. What can I say, I'm too generous.) And I also had a cash scholarship/award come in.

Unfortunately, I also have some fixed expenses coming up in the month of July: $90 to the jewelry store (Repair on four chains), and approximately $200 to my boyfriend's parents (they paid my gas to aforementioned unpaid internship). But once I get back to work, I'll be able to settle my debts and move on with my financial life.

Let's check out the budget!
As you can see, some of the money has already been spent, but that's from my "roll over budgets" from last month. The rest is all open (including some leftover money from other roll over budgets). I do need to play around with my numbers so that my leftovers don't come up red.

But that's a game for tomorrow.

I want to go to here.

Gizmodo via Buzz Feed

Television Confessional: 5 reasons why I'm not ashamed to like Hot In Cleveland

1. My mother's family is from Cleveland, so any show that pokes fun at the city's expense is alright by me.
2. Hot in Cleveland has a cast made up of people who look like actual people...while the promo poster airbrushed the four lovely ladies to high heaven, the show itself shows a bunch of middle-aged/octogenarian broads living large on their own personal Cleveland party barge.
3. The old school sitcom format (Every episode opens with "Hot in Cleveland is filmed in front of a live studio audience) hearkens back to a day when TV was simpler, and more relaxing.
4. Unlike my other guilty pleasure, Grey's Anatomy, Hot in Cleveland doesn't make me feel like an inadequate underachiever.
5. Betty. Fucking. White.
   

Video Credit: YouTube

Mango-Blueberry Compote

As you may recall, I was recently gifted a large quantity of delicious fruits and today, I decided to do something with it. Using this recipe adapted from Food and Wine, I made a deliciously fruitful and delightful dish.The key players are:
-Mediumish sized mango.
-1 pint blueberries.
-1 lemon.Hack up the mango into 1/2 (or so sized chunks) and then combine in a pot with:
-blueberries
-4 scant tablespoons of sugar
-the juice and zest of 1/2 lemon
-1/2 cup water

Let sit on medium heat until it boils and then cook for another 15 minutes.
I enjoyed mine in a mug with a healthy dollop of cream cheese. (Kind of like a deconstructed, warm cheese cake.) It was tasty, and I liked the extra bite of citrus. However, I think I overdid it on the water and/or didn't let it cook long enough -- it was a little too soupy for my tastes. (I was hoping for a thicker mixture.)

Overall though?
Delicious! And I can't wait to try it with waffles or something.

Game on.

I have fallen behind, friendly faces. Truth be told, I've been having entirely too much fun hanging out with my family and not working-for-pay that I've gotten next to nothing done on all the things I said I'd do.

Which is really very dumb on my part.

Because the more I get done this next week, the less I'll need to do once I return to my real life. So here's what I need to have done by next Tuesday, July 6, at 1 pm (EST).

• Have 10 pages written of French paper.
• Have new (Keanu-approvable) research proposal written.
• Finish Charles Lipson's How to Write a BA Thesis.
• Review old reading list and add new sources (at least 10, I hope).
• Work out for at least 8 hours.

And there you have it.
So let's get it done.

"Jezebel thinks [Jon Stewart] is a sexist prick!"

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Credit: The Daily Show

If you read Jezebel as religiously as I do, you're well aware that there have been some issues 'a brewin' between the Jezebelles and Jon Stewart. It all started in earnest on June 23rd, when "The Daily Show's Woman Problem" was posted and its escalated from there.

The posts on The Daily Show generate an epic ton of comments and page views, with people weighing in from all sides: are women just not funny? does the "female" sense of humor not "fit" The Daily Show's style? is this just a sign of the comedic times? Whatever the reason for the lack of female writers/correspondents, I don't think it makes Jon Stewart a "sexist prick".

If anything, the fact that it was acknowledged - however quickly, however angrily - on the show indicates that someone out there is listening. And whatever happens, I'll still be tuning in nightly (Monday-Thursday) because Jon Stewart makes me laugh.

So you're entering into a long distance relationship...Now let me harass you about it.

As I'm sure I stated before, this coming year will mark something very new for my love life: a long distance relationship. And, as is typical in the university setting, everyone has something to say about it. Which is funny...because it shouldn't be any of their business. Or even a matter of concern, really.

My manfriend is moving down south to pursue higher higher education and I'm staying in the upper midwest to finish out my bachelor's degree. Best case scenario, we'll be separated for about 9 months and I'll find a job in his neck of the woods. Wost case scenario, we'll be separated for 3 years, if I can't find a job down there. (Actually, no, worst case scenario: he'll dump me for a Brazilian supermodel. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

But if you're also going through this situation, you can brace yourself for some of the following pseudo-concerned inquiries:

What are you going to do when s/he's gone?
Well, the same things I've always done: get up, go to class, do my homework and work my dead-end job. Then, I'll probably make my lunch for the next day, go to sleep and get up to do it all over again. I'll still obsess over my weight and grades, but I'll more than likely be eating less take-out.

Are you going to miss him?
Sure. I might just miss the free ride to Meijer more.

Won't you be lonely?
Well, I do, in fact, have friends. It might be hard to believe, I know. But I have friends, and I will survive. I will still drink excessively. I will still dance around my apartment to shitty club music. And I will still have an extensive porch party schedule. Life will go on.

What if he cheats on you?
The same thing that would have happen if he had cheated on me for the first 3 years and change of our relationship. I. will. end. him. Which he knows, and I'm sure he finds completely reassuring.

Do you think you're going to "make it"?
EdNote: This, in my humblest of opinions, is the stupidest question ever. Because if I didn't like our chances, I would have dumped his ass awhile ago.
Uh, sure, whatever.

Even better than the douchelords who try to cast doubt on your impending relationsituation are the people who think that you're comrades-at-arms. These people typically picked up their "significant others" at some point between first and second semester of senior year (of college, not high school) and now view themselves as the gurus of long distance love.

(And don't even try to tell me that you don't know this couple. This is the couple that declared their love for one another in an excessively public manner way. too. fucking. soon. And then spent the next three months offering "advice" to couples who have been together since before they drunkenly hooked up.)

Here's a sample conversation you can expect to encounter:

Bimbo: So do you and your boyf have a plan?
Me: Pardon?
Bimbo: Because well, me and Bimbette have our relationship sustainability plan all figured out. We're going to communicate via text message three times daily, with a nightly phone call and a twice weekly skype sex sesh, then, we've agreed to visit each other - on an alternating schedule - once every three weekends and I'm already looking for jobs where she lives and she signed the lease on an apartment big enough for both of us and our three pet orchids.
Me: Well then. I need a drink.

It's a brave new world, kidderoonies!
Good thing I have a readerless blog to entertain.

You need to go do this now.

Zach's oprah deal from Zach Anner on Vimeo.

This fantastically hilarious gentleman is in the running for his own show on Oprah's new cable channel. So you need to go vote for him. Because he's hilarious.

Review/Notes: How to Write a BA Thesis, Chapters 1-4

This "Practical Guide from Your First Ideas to Your Finished Paper" by Charles Lipson is on my list of required reading before the start of fall semester. Because it is intended to guide me along my journey to Honors Graduation, I feel like there's no time like the present to commit some notes and comments to the memories of the internet.

Part One: Getting Started

This first part of the book sets you up with a general overview of how the book is written as well as how it should be read. Lipson seems keen to make this book a truly practical guide in that he recommends leaving certain chapters at certain stages of the thesis process. (In fact, every chapter is helpfully labeled with "When this Chapter should be Read" depending on whether your project is meant to be conducted over one or two semesters. This seems really helpful, but alas, these benefits will be lost of me as the whole 400 page experience is due by September 7th. To be fair, I can probably reread it on the prescribed schedule but that spoils the surprise.

Moving on! Chapter two, entitled "Useful Nuts and Bolts", walks you through everything one ought to do in preparation for the thesis research/writing process. In addition to suggesting that you take classes relating to your major (seems like a no-brainer to me), Lipson recommends choosing courses that require lengthier writing assignments in order to adequately prepare oneself/impress a potential future adviser. Now, I don't know what college students Charles Lipson has hung out with, but that just doesn't seem like advice that everyone is going to embrace.

No matter, he does offer some compelling, if a little obvious, advice on what makes a good adviser. Of course, you ought to be comfortable with said professor (I call mine Keanu behind his back) and set up regular meetings with clear expectations and yadda yadda yadda. I've got that covered, so I mostly skimmed that part. But the chapter did come through with the promised "useful nuts and bolts", including some much appreciated pointers on how to assemble a functional reading list.

Part two: Framing your topic.

Chapter three gets right into it: don't fucking plagiarize, kids. Because plagiarism does not an excellent thesis make. Lipson does offer a lot of really excellent tips for notetaking to avoid accidental plagiarism, however. These insights include: framing direct quotes with the letter "Q" and citation information, find a method to distinguish your own thoughts on the readings (he recommends brackets/your initials) and keeping a running bibliography with all your notes and stuff.

On page 37, Lipson says that notes should:

• Capture the main points of each article
• Focus on parts of the work most closely related to your topic
• Use clear markings to distinguish your comments from the author's language, preventing any accidental plagiarism
• Record the bibliographic information you need for citation
• Develop your own insights, as prompted by the readings, so you can draw on them later

Pretty straightforward, right? Absolutely!

Moving on to chapter four, which deals with two major points: narrowing your topic and writing a decent research proposal. Now, I wrote a 25 page research proposal for the junior "pre-honors" seminar I had to take last year for what will be referred to here as the "Pre-Keanu topic." It was a pretty impressive paper, but the topic was shit and not very well defined. Also, the paper was probably shit...but it made up for it by being impressive shit, indeed.

Charles Lipson (can I call him Charlie?) recommends that I write a new one...a new one that is, blissfully, only 1-2 pages and answers the questions "What is my topic?", "Why is it important?" and "How do I go about answering it?"

Guess what, Charlie? I intend to do just that before my next meeting with Adviser Keanu.

Stay tuned for part three!

Return from the Internetless Wilderness

Hello again!

After spending the long weekend in an environment where the internet was, in fact, not free (or even cheap), I am back and getting caught up on what's what in the online world. Like my schoolwork (or fights on Jezebel). Wedding weekend was fantastic (if drunken) -- I spent plenty of time catching up with members of the extended family, dancing like a moron and almost melting in the heat of a Saint Louis summer.

But now that I'm back from that adventure (and still on vacation for another week), it's time to get back to my list of things to do. Let's take a look at today's chunk of the grandmaster list:

• Read 100 pages of How to Write a BA Thesis by Charles Lipson
• Complete 5 pages of 20 page French paper (due the first day of fall classes)
• Get caught up on emails
• Work out (more than likely to the sweet sweet music of The Daily Show)

So there you have it. Not exactly a slow day at the office, but it certainly seems to be a manageable load (provided that I get a start on it sometime soon). I find that breaking down my relatively large summer workload into reasonable daily chunks makes it seem a lot less threatening.
Beyond getting that four-part list done, I have two other projects in the works. Like, what do I do with the fruit? My good-buddy-from-the-homeland Grace gave me that lovely assortment of fruits from the Korean marketplace. But now, what do I do with it? I feel like it might be time to try my hand at compote. Or a baked apple. Suggestions, hungry hivemind?


Then, we have July ladymag bonanza! Obsessing over the mainstream media is one of my favorite pastimes, but I really only have the opportunity to do it on breaks from school. So I decided to buy all the "good" magazines for July and see what I can learn. (The "good" ones being Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Redbook -- I like the recipes! -- and Glamour.)

I plan to see what they have to tell me.

Working it out.

Last night, for the first time in forever, I got my daily dose of cardio...indoors. Typically, I'm a walker; this, combined with working in a highly physical environment means that I almost never see the need to hit up the gym. But there's one in the building so I cleaned and strapped on my trusty gym shoes. And got in some elliptical action.

I'm not going to lie, working out at night was a little weird, and I'm not sure how to feel about pounding the low-impact pavement after eating a full meal. But I did my cardio and worked on my shoulders and arms and then went to bed, fully intending to get up and try a morning work out.

That didn't exactly happen. My shoulders were sore and I had a bunch of cleaning to do. So, taking a page from NPR, I decided to turn my cleaning into a workout. The story "Hotel Maids Challenge the Placebo Effect" tells the tale of two groups of maids -- one who was informed of their caloric output on any given shift, and one who wasn't. Surprisingly to researchers, the group that was told of their physical activity actually lost weight, had a drop in blood pressure, BMI and waist-to-hip ratio.

With that in mind, I hit the cleaning like I hit the elliptical last night. While not as taxing, I definitely felt like I was getting more exercise than I would just cleaning mindlessly. But all cleaning aside (still have laundry and a bathroom to do), I also set up my beautification station for all the pre-wedding prep you could ever want.That's right, Walgreen's sells 5-blade disposable razors - perfect for getting yourself swimsuit ready. Which is absolutely terrifying. Let me tell you: I prefer to keep it au natural downstairs (one part laziness, one part pathological fear of ingrowns, infection and hot dripping wax), but when you're headed out to be surrounded by a bunch of judgey people in swimsuits, its best to make some effort to keep up appearances. And if you're going to do it, you may as well practice a little blade overkill.

Anyways, so I'm currently in the process of beautifying my (terrifying) feet. This entails sanding them down with that there belt sander on a pink handle (oh so feminine), soaking them in a tub full of hot water and Old Spice body wash (because my brother is the man your man could smell like), slathering on that foot creme (guaranteed to hydrate your feet to a room temperature melting point), and putting on socks. The socks have been on for a few hours now...but they're going to have to come off when I bathe.

Yes, Ma, I already "fixed" my eyebrows, don't worry.

I will then paint my little tootsies a tasteful, yet sufficiently young, bronze-y neutral. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to actually paint my nails, or if I'd rather just use that fancy nail rubix cube to burnish them to a classy shine.

Either way, I'll keep you posted.

Here's some hotness for you.

대한민국!
Photo Credit: osen.co.kr

On cousins and packing for weddings and fun.

As I've mentioned before, this weekend we are headed to a wedding. It's going to be a little three day adventure filled with food, fun, family and (most hopefully) free booze. To say that I'm "pumped" is a bit of an understatement, so I started packing today -- a full two days before departure.

At right, you can see all of my clothes laid out on the (teeny, tiny twin) bed. There's my bathing suit (which will be paired with a pair of denim cut-off capris), a floaty top and denim pencil skirt (for Sunday brunch), my wedding/reception ensemble and a sundress/cardigan combo for a family barbeque/stand-up show/bar crawl on Friday.

The best part is that it all looks fabulous paired with that gray quilted leather bag at bottom right, and the brown/brass sandals at bottom left. (Actually, I'm really very lucky to have stumbled upon a few very classy/timeless/made-to-last pieces in my 21 years on this planet. It means that I always have a decent fall-back in the "looking good" department.)

But let's take a minute to talk about those beautiful shoes sitting front and cent in the bottom. Those, my internet friends, are Tod's and they are gorgeous. Let's get a close-up:They are navy blue patent t-strap sandals with a low-ish heel. (I'd guestimate about 3 inches.) The best part is, they were on clearance at Nordstrom's -- and I didn't pay for them. No, for that, we have AnonymousMama to thank: I am also going to be in a wedding come October and she didn't want me to break the bank purchasing shoes to match the bridesmaid dress. (I promise, my experiences as a bridesmaid will be covered extensively at a later date.)

The best part about the weekend ensemble? It all fits in a the Nordstrom's shopping bag I got when I purchased the shoes, except the dress (which will be hung in a garment bag in the car) and my various toiletries (which will be thrown, along with my computer and calendar, into a tote that I affectionately call "big brown").

In short, I'm really excited for this weekend, especially to hang out with my cousins. Which is funny, because when I was younger I did not relish the experience. It seemed awkward and forced to pretend to care about these people once a year -- these people who share a (dead) set of grandparents with me, but no common interests or experiences.

I gritted my teeth and prayed for a quick and merciful end to Thanksgiving, when we lived too far away to show up for Christmas, I silently rejoiced and when summer vacations meant forced "fun" by the pool, I silently begged for a reason to take the car and go have a cigarette.

And then something funny happened: we started being friends. It began with Facebook chat, graduated to texting and email and before you knew it, we (the "old" cousins) began making plans to see each other without the prompting of our parents.

There's just so much to talk about.

We can commiserate about the (rather archaic) rules about segregating sleeping arrangements, make fun of our more right-wing aunts and uncles, and enjoy the fact that we're old enough to drink and call a taxi. This also marks the first time that I won't be relying on my parents for transportation (or rather, be obligated to serve as their DD).

I'll be doing my own thing...and that hopefully includes drunk swimming.

Sweet new thing to read!

My awesome cousin turned me on to this awesome blog, which offers in awesome (and free!) eCookbook full of 5 ingredient "minimalist home cooking" recipes.

As a bonus, each recipe takes approximately 10 minutes to make.

stonesoup

Check it out!
Spread the love!

On smoking, food, and "getting fat".

Yesterday, Jezebel ran a post called "French Women Smoke to Remain Thin at All Costs." It, as the title would suggest, examines the relationship between the rate of young(er) women in France smoking cigarettes and their desire to remain desirably thin. Looking to unpack the social pressures placed on women to be thin, it calls for less judgment on body size/perceived "fatness" in hopes that women will feel more comfortable with their bodies and, in turn, quit smoking.

It was a decent article.

And of course, the comments derailed the goodness of the article.* One, in particular, stuck out at me. User lizae writes:

Invite a friend to comment

So I guess if I spend next spring in Paris I need to add "I'd rather be fat than have cancer" to my French phrase repertoire.

But would you, really? If you would, than kudos to you, miss. For some of us, it's a little more complicated than that. For what it's worth, I didn't start smoking to lose weight or stay at a particular weight, or anything even remotely like that. I started because everyone in Korea smokes, and that was just the way it was. (PSA: Kids! Don't befriend Eastern Europeans, you'll learn how to hold your liquor and blow smoke rings!)

But now that I'm a smoker? Well, quitting is going to take some serious planning and consideration, and you can bet your ass that weight gain factors into it. Earlier this year, I put on 22 pounds due to a change in medication. Only recently, have I started getting it to come off. The idea that quitting smoking - regardless of increased exercise - could cause me to gain some (or all) of it back is terrifying.

But let's talk about the underlying causes for a minute, shall we? I am lucky to be a relationship where there is no pressure for me to be skinny. He's loved me when I was a little on the chunkier side, and he's loved me when I wound up a little unfortunately emaciated. (Here's another tip, if you are even remotely competitive/inclined to food-related neuroses, do not under any circumstances, make work-out buddies with someone who has been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder.)

But that's part of the problem. He and I, and a group of our friends love to eat together. Cooking en masse, we can eat a huge dinner (allegedly with leftovers) for three bucks a person. But there are never leftovers and these people act like vegetables are some strange biproduct corn-fed beef. (Well...we could debate that.) So it's hard to work on my own weight/image issues and still keep up my typical social eating schedule.

So I had a melt-down: My clothes don't fit! I have no money to buy new clothes! My stomach conditions require a diet with fiber! And I'm supposed to watch my sugar intake! I can't hang out with you people if you're only going to feed me transfats and refined carbohydrates!

It was epic, and I did it at 6:30 in the morning before work.

A little melodramatic? Absolutely...but I think the message got across. We've started incorporating vegetables (cheap vegetables, but vegetables nonetheless) into the repertoire. We play frisbee while the grill heats up, or walk to the pool hall instead of driving. There are talks about going to the batting cages. And, as it turns out, I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with what we've been eating.

To get back to my original point, I'm working on my weight through diet and exercise and I'll quit when I'm ready.

...Whenever that is.

*I love Jezebel, and I think it really is a great, judgment-free community. Unless of course, they're talking about a subject that it's "okay" to judge: like smokers, parents with large strollers and Taylor Swift.

Adult Milestone: Going to a wedding.

There are certain things that define being an adult: going to a wedding where you can make the best of the open bar is one of them. This is also a milestone because it will be the first time my boyfriend of more than three years is meeting (dunh dunh dunh) my father's side of the family. Why it has taken this long is a mystery to me, but it is going to happen this weekend and it feels like a big. fucking. deal.

Bring on the interrogation, skepticism and general tomfoolery!
You will respect my adult relationship, damnit!

Actually, that's probably not true at all: we will get interrogated, they will question us about our sex life, offer unsolicited advice and (more than likely) some level of criticism. But if all goes well, he won't dump me, and we'll both be invited back.

But on to the fun stuff!It's a summer wedding, and its expected to be hot-as-balls. At the same time, it could be cold inside where its air conditioned. So this here is a relative approximation of what I'll be wearing this weekend. To go underneath it, I have a very supportive strapless bra.

Should be a very interesting weekend.

To Budget, or Not to Budget?

I am a reformed dumbass.

For my first three years of university, I threw all notions of a "budget" to the wind. I had a good job, I could pay my cell phone bill, buy groceries and prevent unwanted pregnancy -- completely unaided by loans, parental units or my boyfriend. I was living large on my own personal (collegiate) party barge.
And now I'm screwed.

To say that I lack funding would put me up for The Understatement of the Year award. Here's the current breakdown:

Checking: $21.01
Savings: $50.00
Purse: $11.56

Things are looking dire, friends! But I have seen the error of my ways and am working towards a new, financially healthy way of life. Luckily, I'm with my family for the next week or so (more on that later) which means I have a little time to eat/launder/smoke and drink for free. (This is especially helpful as I don't get paid for another two weeks.) I also have a little time to sort through my expenses and make a budget.

I didn't know a whole hell of a lot about creating a budget, but a buddy of mine turned me onto this site called mint.com. A nifty little planning tool, it offers these basic guidelines:

There are a few rules of thumb that you should keep in mind. Your housing expenses shouldn’t exceed about 33% of your income. And your total debt payment (which ideally should be zero!) probably shouldn’t exceed 30%. If you have more debt than that, it’s time to start cutting spending and looking for ways to cut fees on credit card accounts, savings accounts and other ways to save.

After signing up for this free and ostensibly very secure website, you can play around with your monthly budget: assigning different amounts to different categories of things. Because you sync your accounts/loans/credit cards to your mint.com account, it will automatically deduct from the correct budget amount. (If you find it to be incorrect, it's super easy to move it around to the right category.)

Here's my budget lay-out for June:

Try not to judge all that red. (I did just return from an unpaid internship in a very expensive foreign capitol.) But now you get the gist of what it looks like. At the top right corner, you can see the projected monthly savings on the current plan.

My pie in the sky goal for this year is to graduate with $3,500 to my name. It is my hope that $1,500 will come from cutting down on my monthly expenses. The rest of the money will come from various holidays and (hopefully) graduation checks. In a couple of weeks, I'll be generating an income again, so the numbers will hopefully be less dismal.

I'll keep you posted.